Funny how life likes to deal itself out to you in COMBOs.

But thank god .

I'm not sad. just disappointed.

Can you imagine ,

Having a girlfriend who looks down on you?

Someone who can never be your backbone.

Someone who never cheers you up.

Never convinced you that are capable.

Can you imagine ,

Having made tough decisions ,

To go or not to..

She bickers on and on about how she'ld be left out .

Never once thinking abt the greater good for me.

Can you imagine ,

Feeling all down and disappointed by your own father over and over again.

Then having your girlfriend be angry at you because

you seen childish to be disappointed.

Cause to everyone else,

I've what everyone wants,

However to myself,

I've nothing that everyone needs.

Some fucking day,

I'm gonna stop imagining i've a girlfriend.

and that day started YesterdaY.

I Dont need that comfort , of imagining that i'm important to someone else.

I dont need that comfort to allow me to be satisfied with who i think i am .

With who i think i am thats important to who i think is important to me.

For fucks -sake .

Wake up my bloody idea.

Let me be excited to know whats around that corner.

Time to fucking move on.NIAN......

I've always wished that i've a father.

I've always yearned for acceptance.

I want to be appreciated, i wanna be god-damn-ed special.

i wish i've a dad.

Who would be proud of me ,

Proud of everything i did.

Proud of me for who i am.

Instead of a father , i've a society defined dad.

A father who plays by society's rules .

A father who by society's definition is perfect. The best there is.

But how vague our society is ...

How is it not possible for once to acknowledge/praise me for the things that i do.

The things that makes me , ME...

Yes i know you care(for my safety)

But the whole bloody idea of me having you watch my bike videos or what not is to have your acknowledgement!

You can say you try your best to communicate with me, but what's communication?

How do we communicate , but you telling me about your business-es only?

How are you *supportive* by buying me things of interest ,but never there to see/appreciate me using them?

I brought you to japan , to nihonmatsu , to teamorange's drift track to have you use your phone all day.

I want to be fucking special.

If only i had studied, why would i want to study?

How would i be different if i'm just better?

So what if i scored lesser then my cousins?

Fucking common sense would have dictated that ,

To be compared is to be of the same playing grounds.

i want to be special , i dont want to fucking study for your dumb cunt piece of shit.

So what if u buy me all the cars in the world.

I'm only there to enjoy it on my own.

I've a living Atm and a missing dad.

I wish for someone emotionally real.

Someone my cow can never be.

I wnat to be fucking special.

And special i am ,

Only to myself.

For i'm a nobody amongst

the society.

Fuck you all, i'm special to myself.

and to my self i'll stay special.

Give me back my dreams , my goals and my aspirations .

I'm gonna live on my own.

I'll split ur skull open someday...