Alot less flowery language. lets just keep this simple .

Unfair , fucking unfair .

How i wish i can just relive the days when we jsut got together.

This really is some fucking nonsense.

Why the fuck cant i just let go?

A little too sentimental for good, shouldnt i think forwards instead of backwards?

I have no rights , i have no say and i long to be free one day! (ah ha! national day song!)

Well not really...

i have a choice .

And i know what i want . but i just cant fucking do it .

its a anyday anytime for her .

FUCK. NIAN! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?

sda

To lose when you dont give.

Nothing to lose little to win - fly bikes.

ha!

I SHALL STOP TAKING THE INITIATIVE
AND SEE HOW IT GOES

i must not lose.

how does it feel to recieve?

"stop being so nice as u might not be rewarded for that.
so what's the point when the answer to your question is always the same?"


I'm going to fucking die....

Major disappointment. and sadness at the same time.


Why do people think that i'm that shallow?
Arent they shallow to think that i seek much rewards for being plain nice?


Arrggh. If only she feels what sorrow i feel.
I'll be happy if she feels my pain.


Cause i'm pissed with someone. and that someone is the one i love so very much.



Fuck. Just be friends? (You asked us to be friends some time ago. but it seems that you never really even treated me as one)

And to think that i was so fucking devoted. to like you for 4 years and half.
Thanks!


Now she thinks that i'm blaming it on her.
HAHAHAHAHA.

I'm so fucking angry. i dont know what to do.


'

What what?!

Ignite


“You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.”

Vernon Howard

What i want? is what i need. but what if i dont get what i need...



“There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.”

Link-

So what are you doing today? for the important tomorrow?




"Complexity in emotions is like a foam in a river.It is produced by obstacles which break the smoothly flowing current. But so long as the vital energies are unimpeded, they produce no ripple on the surface, and their strength is not evident to the unobservant."

i relate.

A joker for yesterday

"Try not once , not twice but try it till you nail it. " - NIAN

wah sia. nice quote ah!

haha.

but

this aint biking
this aint card tricks
this aint bass playing.


Sticking to my old beliefs , i made multiple futile attempts.



Try not once, not twice but try it till i nail it?
yea. this time.

I'm not the best, but i was never part of the rest.

If i fail. once, and if i fail twice.
My methodology is wrong.


I try again and again.
Reading maths for a chemistry test.
It was of a totally different context.



Keep that mentality.
Change the methodology (Sia, rhyme sia. i can be rappper shiol!)


Not for her. but for myself.

Trash that goofy image.
For the world doesnt depend on a joker.

A joker is never around because hes needed.
A joker is around to fill up the empty space when there is one.

Lameballs.
but why prioritize someone, when you're only an option?
It really is blind huh?

But a blind men sees alot more then one who is not.
Because a blind man feels.


and btw...



THENNNNNNNGS~!
I rock


for now , for real. i'm going to change. for the fucking BETTER and of course. i rockED and im going to Rock even MORE.

thanks!

Its about time my image/exterior matures.
because i no longer live for what i want, but I've found something that is very much needed to fill the shell of my self-fulfilling past.



Damnit, can i get any better at writing emo quotes?!

HAHAHA.

well. if writing is a form of release.
It aint true hobos!

Conclusions to completion

Arrived at a few conclusions. For one i cannot take back my mistakes or change the past. But i can take my experiences , the mistakes I've lived through, to better myself and others.

I gave my life to a fine lady , in a futile attempt to be whom she deemed fit as her life partner.